Saturday, April 7, 2018

The norm of talking crap

Pakistani Television host and politician of PTI, Dr. Aamir Laiquat  just posted few tweets about politician Ms.Marium Nawaaz of PML(N) ( here) on April 4. They were posted to defame and insult Ms. Nawaz because she is his opponent now. Otherwise who cares what type of loose character woman she is?

Do you?

He intentionally character assassinated her with total force, leaving no stone untruned.

It figures.

It figures because it  is a norm. That is the way it is. Like it or not, if not everyone but 'almost' every other Pakistan talks like him/ do exactly he did with very little difference, whenever he/she gets a chance. Character assassination is the only and most power tactic to tackle the opponent or with who they have issue(s) in our fariq society. The deliberate defamation of character is not only  used against individuals and groups as a political weapon but in everyday life as well. Sometimes, it is done just because one person didn't say "salam' to them. 

According to the US legal, Inc.,"Character Assassination refers to the slandering or vicious personal verbal attack on a person with the intention of destroying or damaging that person’s reputation or confidence. In other words it is malicious verbal assaults designed to damage or tarnish the reputation of a person. Once done, these acts are often difficult to reverse or rectify. Therefore it is likened to a literal assassination of a human life. The damage sustained can last a lifetime or, for historical figures and important personalities, for many centuries after their death.

It involves a deliberate attempt to destroy a person's reputation, especially by criticizing them in an unfair and dishonest way when they are not present. It can also involve exaggeration or manipulation of facts to present an untrue picture of the targeted person, double speak, spreading of rumors, innuendo or deliberate misinformation on topics relating to the subject's morals, integrity, and reputation. It is a form of defamation.

All this effect an individual profoundly. It can damage the mental and physical health along with the credibility and reputation of an individual. And in the third world countries like Pakistan, where being chaste is the only criteria to be respectable, someone can even get killed. 

Normally people are very Okay with using derogatory remarks about anyone, anywhere. And, I am talking about real life here. People don't feel an ounce of shame when talking about other person's life. This nation is obsess with what-others-are-doing.  It is their national duty to have an eye on everyone: both male and female. The recovery is much quicker and easier with males, due to high cognitive dissonance. They get away with a justification that 'Marad ka kuch nahi jatta.'

People do it with all their heart and soul, without thinking that they also have their own daughters in  their homes. It can come back and bit them too.

God willing, it will. If not today, then tomorrow. Someone will be doing same to them because it is a viscous circle. What goes around, comes around.

On TV, Dr. Aamir Laiquat is paid to say such things. Channel owners and producers are very well aware of who he is. They want him for exactly that purpose. They know that by  having him they will be able to achieve the TRP for their channels. PEMRA's notices and actions go in drain- all the time. For your kind information, he is again doing his show ' Ase nahi chalay ga' on BOL TV. 

And most importantly, people do like him. TRP doesn't go up by "just having him." It shows that Pakistani public is watching him. They have no issue with him or the content. Whatever he says drives home that it is acceptable in our society.

The thing about the stuff he posts on his social media account is that: He owns it. That is his property. He can say it even if he is the 'role model'. And he did. You can do nothing about it, can you?

All you can do it grit your teeth, unfollow him or insult back. 

Others do almost the same thing, in cyber and real world whenever they find something conflicting with their preconceived opinions. Read any comment section on the Facebook pages of Pakistani's newspaper if I am making it up. You wouldn't be surprised to see how full they are with cursing/derogatory remarks if the news or content doesn't sink in well with them. 

Those who don't do it on Social Media, they do it in real life.

This shows off the public's mannerism, upbringing, background and frustration along with the mental illness.

Korea University’s Sun Park and Northeastern University psychologist C. Randall Colvin calls such people narcissistic. No normal person can do such low thing. It gotta be a narcissistic who can insult others this much.

The authors of the book Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work, industrial psychologist Paul Babiak and criminal psychologist Robert D. Hare dub such people psychopaths and say that they use this  techniques of character assassination to maintain their agenda and power. 

What makes this whole situation more ironic is that Dr. Aamir Laiquat and the type are not some low life junkies passing comments or cat calling random women at street. This is done by the most educated mostly on serious media. As you can see Ammir Laiquat is PhD (fake or foreign doesn't matter: degree is degree). He is on TV.  I can bet billion dollars here that a Pakistani with an authentic foreign degree can does that without a hesitation. As  I said this is a mere tactic: A way to compete.

A PhD is no guarantee to make you a better human being. 40-50 years of up bringing, background, class differences and no moral values  has its own impact. People are taught from a very young age to talk slander about others. They have seen  how women particularly are insulted, put down, defamed, beaten, seriously injured and murdered for doing something which "others" don't approve, in their homes and social gatherings. Blame and accuse, if there is no other way to stop her. Others will belive or not is not the headache of narcissistic/psychopath. 

Personally, I consider it the most lowest thing an human can do to another human.  That person is the stinkiest (badbudar). These people have no moral values. They are never taught how to earn and  give respect. Mocking others is their business. One of my very good friend and well wisher told me the only way to deal with such stinky people is to play at their level or pass it. There is really no middle way.  She is so damn right.  Verbal assault is a crime. Passing it once again indicates being Okay with it. 

There is also no need to react, response, defend, confront or even negotiate with the abuser. Just gather all the evidence, document each and every act, and seek help from the law by hiring a lawyer. In simple words, sue them. 

Derogatory comments like these might not bug Marius Nawaz much. She is a strong, confident and rich woman whose father was three times  prime minister; she is a woman in the end of the day. She and no one deserves to be ridicule for their personal life's choices, actions, life style, clothes or whatever like that in front of the public unless and until they are not criminal. No woman should ever be defamed for her personal matters.

Majority of Pakistani understand the severity of this  dilemma. Therefore they keep everything under the radar. What doesn't happen in our society? Almost everything; behind the four walls. It is their idea of freedom and safety.

What we really need to fathom is that we can't teach tradition, cultural, religion, or so called ' lesson' to any adult woman. We are not her father, brother, son nor we have any obligation to do so. Even by religion we are not her wali/guardian. 

So, why so worry about her?

Let me rain your parade: Any individual above the age of 18 is a full grown adult.  Learn to digest this bitter truth. Mind your own business. In the time of so much antsy: Pass exactly the same low class remarks  to your daughters, sisters, wives, and mother. They are your  only responsibility.

Anyone who is stranger to you is not bind to even answer you regarding her personal life, unless and until any law is broken. Attacking humans for their personal matters only make you look like an idiot. We have entered in the age of information. Everything is changing because change is constant. Unnecessary, useless  and forced standards of chasty is not under attacked.  Get a life.

Good character is integrity,  honesty, loyalty, respectfulness, responsibility, humility, compassion, fairness, forgiveness and authenticity rather than worrying about who is with who. There is no respect in insulting someone.

 Pakistani nation need a lot of moral learning.